Croquet Communiqué

AGM and Prize-giving

On Saturday, 2nd November 2019, the AGM, Prize-giving and tea took place in the Fountain and Garden Rooms of the Clubhouse. Possibly the best-attended meeting was enjoyed by all, with three quarters of the section present.

Prizes were presented by Douglas Gurney, and the Chairman, Peter Honey, and the Captain, Mike Pattison, gave their Annual Reports and questions taken from the floor.

Whether it was the Prize-giving, Chairman’s and Captain’s Reports or the sandwiches and cake, we will never know, and we were delighted so many came for the afternoon. See pictures below.


The Retiring Chairman, Peter Honey, presented this doggerel:


Becoming your chairman was never my aim

There was no one else so Chair I became

The burdens of high office have taken their toll

But I convinced myself it was good for my soul

To be honest it’s been a small price to pay

For running the committee and having my say

And sorting people when they stepped out of line

And fixing the minutes so they read just fine

And delegating things I didn’t want to do

And calming people when they got in a stew.


However plain sailing it hasn’t always been

Being chairman means that as soon as you’re seen

People bend your ear and tend to complain

‘The lawns get puddles in the rain’

‘More milk and biscuits should be bought’

‘People are using our toilet when they didn’t ought’

‘The lawns aren’t level and they are scuffed’

‘The hoops are too tight and I am stuffed’

I had to learn to put grumbles aside

It was either that or I’d have to hide.

Mistakes I admit there have been a few

Too many to mention to the likes of you!

We did our best to sort things out 

Of that you cannot surely doubt

Some decisions have been a bit fraught

But the fairest solution we always sought

‘It’s poor governance’ some complained

But focused and steadfast we remained

Both the committee and Roehampton staff

Have worked really hard on your behalf.

The most challenging time I expect you can guess

Was when with our lawns they tried to mess

We all campaigned to get minds changed

And the Club’s master plan was rearranged

So lawns 3 and 4 are here to stay

To which we all say a loud hurray

And now lawns 1 and 2 have splendid lights

We can play matches on winter nights 

The challenge however is to increase our number

And before that’s done we cannot slumber.


And now it’s time for me to exit

Freeing up time to fret about Brexit

Thanks for putting up with me  

I’ve enjoyed myself as you can see

But after three years I’ve done my whack

And now it’s time for a change of tack

Back to playing croquet without distractions

Oblivious to gripes and interactions.

Peter Honey  

November 2019


Floodlit Golf Croquet Matches

– Thursday 14th November at 5pm, Roehampton v. Dulwich

– Thursday 28th November, Roehampton v. Cheam, (time TBC)


Mike Pattison | Croquet Captain